


Decisions, Decisions

by Ravxnclaw



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Angst, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Reader Vote on Relationship, Smut, Undecided Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-13
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-05-01 09:19:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5200472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravxnclaw/pseuds/Ravxnclaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As the newest whelp in Jorrvaskr, Elynea befriends the sweet Farkas and is quickly turned out by the perpetually angry Vilkas, who will she end up falling for through all of their adventures?</p><p> <b> Possible spoilers for Companions questline, read at your own discretion! </b></p><p>I do not own Skyrim, Jorrvaskr, the Companions, Farkas, Vilkas, Aela, Kodlak, or anything than my original female character, all credit goes to Bethesda!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Elynea's Entrance

Nothing was the same after I joined the Companions, I should have known that from the very beginning. I thought that it would push away the tug to join one sire of the war or another, but never knew what it would lead me to. It would take me to the levels within the Guild itself that I never could have imagined, nor did I know that it would lead me into the life of two brothers who were so different from one another.   
Their personality differences were clearly portrayed in their facial expressions, and I could see how different they were as soon as the door to the hall closed behind me. One had his eyes open wide as they watched the brawl in front of us as it it happened all the time. His face was open like a book, easy to read all of his emotions from the first moment. His bulk obviously betrayed his inner self, clearly the softer of the two despite his combat ready appearance.   
The other was surly, his nostrils flared as if he was perpetually angry, his gaze slicing through everything in the room, dissecting every detail. He glared over at me without any hint of surprise, the first Companion to acknowledge my entrance, and he cracked his knuckled at me. He glowered in my direction, his face nothing but complete disinterest and anger, and I knew that if I meant to join their ranks, I would have to stay away from him.   
He turned his back to me and leaned toward the larger of the two brothers, their basic features so similar but their expressions warping them into two different people. They whispered something and I put away the small dagger that still resided in my hand, knowing that coming into this situation armed wasn’t going to end well.   
The more sour of the two looked back at me, his eyes picking apart every detail about me and judging it. The other man looked over the shoulder of the one closest to me, though at least he wasn’t glaring at me, he looked interested and a little confused.   
“Another whelp?” The first spoke quietly as if to his brother, but his voice was loud enough that I knew he intended for me to hear the derogatory term. I imagined that it was for newcomers, keeping them separate from those who had already been tested and joined their ranks. They all looked over at me, their faces a blur of blue face paint and scowls as they watched me walk toward them.   
I could hear fists landing on skin, as the woman obviously gained the upper hand between the two. I took a step further into the room, the light from the candles lining the table and the fire blazing in the center of the room making their shadows dance behind them on the wall and it was hard to discern all of the bodies through the darker corners.   
“You joining?” The woman who had effectively floored the smaller man spoke as  
she took a step closer to me, and I stood my ground despite the fear growing in the pit of my stomach. I could still feel all of their eyes watching me but focused on the woman in front of me, the blue paint obstructing large slashes of her face from view. She was at least two heads taller than me and carried herself with so much self assurance that I was sure she was among the elite within all of the members. At least she wasn’t glaring me as if I was the last thing she wanted to see as the smaller of the two brothers was.   
“Yes.” I stood up as straight as I could, not letting my back bow under the weight of all their inquisitive gazes and angry glares.   
“You’ll need to talk to our Harbinger, Kodlak, he’ll decide if you’re joining us and set you up with a Companion to test you with.” Her voice betrayed her intimidating stature, as her voice gently met my ears. She smiled and it felt nice to have someone display some niceness.   
I nodded and moved to walk past her, feeling short next to her stance that  
labelled as a seasoned warrior. She turned to walk back to the others, but stopped for a moment and looked at me over her shoulder.   
“Don’t let the men here intimidate you.”   
With that she left me to my own devices. As none of the men stood or even met my gaze anymore, I concluded that none of them were Kodlak. I made my way down the stairs tucked away in the far corner of the room. As I made my way downstairs I heard chairs scrape and some unhappy grumbling, seeing the two brothers make their way toward me.   
My heart lept into my throat and I worried that they were coming to keep me out, but they simply fell into step behind me. I could tell which was which as I walked down the stairs, their footsteps matching what I had already observed about their personalities. The larger one had lighter steps, as if the other, angrier one was lost in his thoughts, allowing his footsteps to drag across the ground.   
I felt a hand move through the air so close to my back and blushed, wondering if I needed to pick up my pace. I hurried in front of them, knowing that my stride was shorter due to their long legs, and wanted to get this over with as soon as possible.   
“I’d like to join the Companions.” My voice quavered as I stood in front of the   
older man sitting in front of me, his eyes watching mine carefully. He squinted as if he could tell my worth simply by looking at me.   
“Would you now? Here, let me have a look at you. Hmm, yes, perhaps. A certain strength of spirit.” I could feel my face flushing as two bodies appeared in the room around us, reminding me that the two unusually different brothers were behind me. The larger one snuck me a smile when his brother wasn’t looking, appearing more reassuring than anyone else in the room. It was clear that the Companions were predominantly Nords, and I was worried that my origins in Morrowind were going to be cause for them to kick me out.   
“You’re not seriously considering her, are you?” The smaller brother glared between the Harbinger and I, his voice pure malice. I had been right about avoiding him, and wished that he had stayed in the hall with the others, leaving me to handle the situation alone. It made me wonder if he saw so little promise within me, why he would worry about me harming the Harbinger.  
“Last I checked, we had some empty beds in Jorrvaskr for those with fire burning in their hearts, Vilkas.” The older man stood in front of the smaller brother, whose name must have been Vilkas. His face calmed some and I felt the tension dissipate some at the words of the Harbinger.   
I saw Vilkas’s brother lean against the table, his smiling face once again within my gaze and he made my stomach squirm. I smiled back quickly before I was drawn back into the conversation with Kodlak and Vilkas, but not before feeling a welcome warmth spread through my body. I could tell that although Vilkas seemed pretty snotty when it concerned ‘whelps’, his brother was already seeming much nicer.   
“How are you in battle, girl?” Kodlak turned to me, his eyes boring into mine, but I didn’t feel as fearful as I did when VIlkas looked at me. I bit my lip for a moment and shrugged, my inner warrior and my quiet nature fighting it out, trying to find a suitable answer.   
“I can handle myself.” He nodded at my answer, apparently sufficient enough.  
“Good. Vilkas here will test your arm.”  
My stomach turned at the thought of going up against someone who appeared to   
have hated me from the first moment he saw me, but knew that I needed to do it if I really wanted to join them. I saw the way he looked between Kodlak and myself, the same anger burning behind his glare, and suddenly wished that I was going to go up against the other brother. I didn’t know them, but I could already tell that Vilkas was not one who took kindly to others, and wasn’t one to make friends. At least the other man had smiled at me, showing me that he wasn’t as quick to anger as his brother.   
They all walked out of the room and I hung back, wanting to gather myself before I had to fight someone so angry. Vilkas and Kodlak exited the room while Vilkas’s brother stood in front of me, his arms crossed over his chest and a smile on his face. His smile made me feel better and he started to walk after his brother.   
“Don’t worry about Vilkas, he’s grumpy but he doesn’t mean any harm. I’m Farkas, by the way.” He clapped me on the shoulder as he walked past me, continuing down the hallway. I felt my heart lift a little bit and knew that even if Vilkas wasn’t going to be friendly toward me, at least his brother was.   
I was glad to have a friend by my side, and wondered whether it was going to be worth it to make an effort to befriend Vilkas. I watched as Farkas walked in front of me and knew that I was right, his footsteps were much lighter despite being the bigger of the two. From that point of view he looked menacing, though I already knew that he wasn’t a threat to me. The calm smile on his face had reassured me that even if his brother always looked like he had drank sour milk, he was going to be a good friend.   
I opened the door, the sun hitting my eyes as I was greeted by a semicircle of people, just waiting to see if I got my butt kicked. I unsurely tapped my fingers along the hilt of my sword, wondering if we were using weapons or simple fists. I could see Vilkas swinging his sword at one of the dummies, but the lack of magic warned me to keep any magical items safely sheathed.   
I dug around in my bag for a moment, looking for some sort of weapon that didn’t have any enchantments affecting it, but couldn’t seem to find one. Finally I felt the worn leather hilt of an old iron sword, I dropped my backpack on the seat on one of the nearby tables, walking toward Vilkas as his attention turned to me. He glared at me from the first moment he noticed me, making me want to freeze in my steps, but I forced myself to keep walking. I didn’t want to show any type of weakness in front of the warriors I was hoping to join, and knew that if I backed down from such a simple task, they were never going to give me another chance to prove my worth.   
Everyone’s eyes were on us and I heard a few scattered whispers, but none of the voices were loud enough for me to hear their words. I saw Vilkas heave a giant banded shield onto his arm, levelling it, and I wondered if I was really supposed to swing an edged weapon at him.   
“Come on now, just a few swings to show me what you’re made of.” His voice was gruff from behind the shield and I raised the sword, readying myself to strike at him. I could feel the weight of their stares on me and searched for Farkas, the only person who had been friendly to me so far, and found him over Vilkas’s right shoulder. He smiled at me and it assured me that I wasn’t going to disappoint, giving me the strength that I needed to use all my force on Vilkas’s shield.   
After the sound of iron on iron rang through the yard a few times he backed down, his harsh voice alerting me that it was time to stop. The sweat was stinging in my eyes and I wiped the back of my hand over my forehead, pushing the damp hair away from my face. Farkas beamed at me and I walked toward him, only to have the blunt edge of a sword thrust into my stomach.   
“Take my sword up to Eorlund.” Vilkas instructed me, snapping my attention back to him. I gripped the sword and nodded, not wanting to engage in conversation with him further. Farkas walked away, falling in step with his brother, and I instantly felt disappointed. I had wanted to hear if I did well, hoping the secure the only hopeful friendship I had encountered, only to be interrupted by the same glare that had made me feel so unwelcome. Chewing on my lip I watched as the two so different people walked away, already wondering how much I would end up having to interact with them, not knowing at the time that one of them was going to become the center of my world.


	2. Elynea's Introduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elynea contemplates the perpetually angry Vilkas and the much friendlier Farkas, while being introduced to her fellow whelps
> 
>  
> 
> I have not yet decided if the story is going to end up being about Vilkas or Farkas, please let me know in the comment section if you have an opinion either way!

With Aela’s shield in my hands I made my way back down to Jorrvaskr, the weight of it reminding me why I wasn’t keen on using shields. I hurried down the steps as the heavy shield threatened to tip me forward, hoping to get down the slope before I fell on my face. I hurried into the yard and felt my weight tipping off my feet, my heart stopping as the ground rushed up to meet my face.   
“Whoa!” A pair of strong arms grabbed my middle and I heard the shield fall to the ground, a harsh breath making its way out of me. My body froze for a moment, embarrassment flooding through me, and I slowly pushed myself away. I dusted myself off, avoiding eye contact for as long as possible, I looked up to see Farkas smiling at me, squinting through the midday sunlight.   
“Thank you.” My breath was still coming in short pants and I didn’t know what else to say to him. My stomach jumped a little when he handed me the shield once more. He looked around quickly, as if he was making sure that no one saw him being nice to the newest whelp.   
“Drop that off and come find me, I’ll show you to the quarters.” With that he walked away, leaving me gripping the edge of the shield. I smiled to myself, knowing that even if I couldn’t find anyone else within the Companions that I would get along with, at least I had found a friend in Farkas.   
The hall opened up before me and I quickly glanced around, searching for Aela. She stepped into the room, still carrying herself as if she knew that she could beat up any of the men in the room, and she spotted me across the hall. It only took a few strides to clear the room and within seconds she was standing in front of me, her strong fingers easily lifting the shield out of my hold.   
“Thank you.” I nodded back to her, resolving to keep quiet in front of those I had not yet befriended. “Farkas was looking for you, he’s going to take you down to the living quarters.” She pointed at the staircase on her right and I quickly made my way out of the hall, but not before catching sight of Vilkas glowering at me from the table. His eyes pierced through me and I wanted to squirm under his gaze, but I held my own. He took a deep drink as he held his glare, as if he was wishing that I’d drop dead just from his look.   
My footsteps were heavier than usual as I made my way down the stairs, focusing on nothing other than getting away from the person that obviously hated my presence. My head snapped down the hallway, eyes combing every direction, searching for Farkas. I was met with his smiling face as he walked toward me, pushing open a door.  
“Right now, you and the other whelps just pick a bed for the night and fall into it when you’re too tired to stand.” I saw a few other people milling about in the quarters and Farkas walked out the door, leaving me in their company. I resisted the urge to follow after him, wishing that I could stay around those who were familiar and I already knew liked me.   
“I was the newest one around here until you came along. I guess that’s okay, I can show you the ropes.” An Imperial girl smiled at me from the next bed over and I took a seat, folding my legs up close to my chest. She seemed a little too friendly for my tastes, and clearly hadn’t had much time in battle, but I wasn’t about to pass up a friend simply because she smiled too much. I tried my best to nod and return her smile, but her attention was already bouncing off elsewhere.   
I kept my knees tight against my body, hoping that I could become as small as possible and fall back into the shadows. The pillow at my back was clearly worn and had housed more than a few tired Companions, and I rested my head on the stone wall behind me. I closed my eyes, wishing that I could just fall asleep, so that my dreams could tell me if I made the right decision in joining the Companions.   
A shadow fell over my and I opened my eyes, anxiously worrying that I had sat down on someone else’s bed that they had already claimed. In front of me stood a Nord woman, her glare almost as intense as Vilkas’s through her iron helmet. I raised my eyebrow in a faint question, not wanting to speak and let her know how scared I truly was.   
“I’m still trying to figure out why Skjor let you in in the first place.” Her voice was a snarl and I was instantly confused what I had done to make her angry. She swirled around, a blur of hide armor and exposed Nord skin, stomping her way away from me. I closed my eyes again and willed my brain to quiet down so that I could fall asleep, at least for a few hours.  
“Come on Vilkas, you don’t have to be so mean to them.” Farkas’s voice was almost hidden from me through the ring of others talking and making their way about, but I could still hear his words. My ears pricked up, wanting to know whether Vilkas hated all of the new Companions or if it was just me.   
“Why should I be nice? Half of them are going to end up hating us after you’ve slept with them anyway.” His voice was as rude and uncaring as I had imagined, and I wondered how he could talk to his brother as if he were some dim stranger.   
“It isn’t my fault you can’t get a girlfriend of your own, Vilkas, you don’t have to be so mean to me either.” Farkas sounded sad, as if his whole life had been spent discussing these things with him. Vilkas clearly had a temper on him and I stayed in bed, wishing that I had enough nerve to make him stop yelling at Farkas.   
I heard footsteps stomp away, assuming that it was Vilkas, and contemplated going to see Farkas. He had sounded so resolved in the situation, as if he knew that there was no fighting with his brother, and it made my heart ache. He had already been so nice to me despite it being my first day, I couldn’t imagine anyone talking to him the way Vilkas had.   
“Don’t worry about them.” I heard a male voice whisper from the bed to my left, assuming that he was talking to me about the two brothers. “I’ve been here a few more days than you, and they’re usually fighting, It’s a brother thing.” I nodded once to let him know that I heard, but didn’t have the strength to open my eyes. I let myself drift somewhere between wakefulness and sleep, wishing that I could sleep away my worries, but unable to stop analyzing Farkas.   
He was the bigger of the two brothers, with broader shoulders and more developed muscles, but was already appearing to be the softer one. His smile was gentle and his eyes were much kinder, while Vilkas appeared to do nothing more than glare around the room and judge those he saw less than himself.   
I drifted into sleep, imagining his stupid face. His angry eyes that were so dark and full of deep thoughts, compared to Farkas who looked as if he was always ready for something new. I decided not to dwell on what Vilkas had said about Farkas sleeping with all of the new whelps, hoping that it wasn’t the reason that he was being nice to me. I had only wanted to make one genuine friend, someone who I could laugh with and follow on adventures, not someone who wanted to sleep with me once then pretend I didn’t exist.   
I hoped that Farkas was only interested in my friendship, because I wasn’t eager to fall into something even remotely romantic so early. I didn’t want to make myself look foolish in front of the other Companions, though, judging by Vilkas’s words, it wouldn’t be the first time a female Companion had fallen for Farkas.   
He was handsome, there was no refuting that, but I hadn’t imagined myself falling into bed on him on my first day. His smile was definitely charming, and Vilkas made it sound as if Farkas had used it more than a few times, but I wasn’t willing to let myself feel anything for him other than friendship. I didn’t want to end up making myself look so naive in front of the others, letting myself become just another new girl to fall for him.   
I wouldn’t. I promised myself just as I fell asleep that I wouldn’t fall for anyone who lived at Jorrvaskr, just as I had long ago promised myself that I would remain alone and independent. Little did I know how that plan of mine was going to work out in my future.


	3. Vilkas's Angst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vilkas admires the new whelp from a distance, recalling each of the times that he has spoken up too late, vowing not to lose another woman's affections to his brother.

I had seen the way that Farkas looked at the new whelp from the first moment, and knew that I had no chance. Even if I had thought that she was pretty, or been impressed by the way she kept her mouth shut doing those degrading tasks, it didn’t matter after I saw Farkas smile at her.   
I’d seen woman after woman fall for that smile, every race from the Argonians to Altmer, women all swooned the same when he smiled and ‘accidentally’ flexed his muscles. I had seen the way that she smiled back at him, tucking a stray piece of hair away from her face, instantly losing any faith that for once, his charm wouldn’t work.   
He had bedded at least half of the whelps the last few years, most of them being so angry at him afterwards that the anger affected me too, simply because I looked like him. They had scoffed when they saw me, despite the obvious differences between Farkas and I. I knew that if he acted the same with her, it was going to end the same way, and resolved to force myself to stop caring.   
I had to stop caring about the way she smiled when she saw Farkas, but flat out glared when she saw me. I knew that I had naturally disinterested facial expressions, but I hadn’t thought that avoiding her had been rude of me. I could see the difference between the way she looked at Farkas and the way she looked at me, and knew that any thoughts I may have had were already gone.   
“So, lots of promise in the new whelps this year, brother.” Farkas’s smirk told me that he wasn’t talking about combat skills.   
“Yeah, guess so.” I tried to stay out of the conversation, hoping that he would get the point and just let it go.   
“Let me know now if you’re interested in any of them and I’ll step back.” He raised an eyebrow at me, just as he did every year when he tried to figure out if there was anyone that was off limits, which there never was.   
I rolled my eyes and walked away from him, intending to continue training in the yard while Eorlund had my sword. The practice sword felt light in my hands and I wondered if it would throw off my aim at all.   
I saw her making her way back down the hill, Aela’s shield throwing her off center, and I contemplated offering to help her. I was sheathing my sword when I saw Farkas walking toward her, and the grin that spread across her face. I saw the blush rise in her face when his arms caught her from hitting the ground, and knew if I thought I had a chance, it was gone.   
The blunted practice sword dropped from my hands onto the seat, but I didn’t care. I was contemplating whether or not I should have said something to Farkas before. I fell into a seat at the table, letting my thoughts run rampant and lose myself in them. I knew that the food in front of me was getting cold but I didn’t feel like eating. The bottle of ale was sweating and encroaching on room temperature, but I couldn’t will myself to pick it up.  
Should I have said something to Farkas before he went after her? Would it have made that much of a difference? I hadn’t even been sure if I had any feelings for her, but I wasn’t going to have a chance to figure it out after Farkas was through with his process of winning her affections, then feeling too suffocated by the hint of a committed relationship. My brother had always been a wonderful man, but he had troubles with the idea of a monogamous relationship.   
I turned when I heard the door open, but it was just Farkas. His face held a smile, though whether it was leftover from talking to her or meant for another woman, I couldn’t tell. He took the chair next to me, surely looking so much warmer and more approachable than I ever had. He knocked his elbow into mine and I knew that the gesture meant that something good happened with one of the new girls.   
“Gotta go show her to the quarters.” With a wink he was off, hurrying down the stairs, leaving me alone once again. I looked around, trying to listen to the other conversations happening around the hall in an attempt to distract myself. I couldn’t tell if I really had feelings for her or I was simply angry that she already seemed to hate me.   
She walked into the room and my breath caught in my throat. Her eyes were scanning their way around the room and she locked gazes with me, the hint of a smile falling from her face. She hurried her way toward the stairs and the knot in my stomach told me that I wasn’t just angry that she already disliked me. I felt the sudden need to fix myself and make sure I didn’t smell. I fought the urge, knowing that sniffing at my underarms would only serve to heighten her distaste for me.   
I continued watching her as she walked down the stairs, smiling to myself despite the obvious anger toward me written all over her face. I leaned on the table, narrowly missing sticking my elbow into a pad of butter, letting my eyes follow her as she walked downstairs. I knew that she looked like she hated me but I didn’t care. I was just letting myself forget for a moment that she disliked me, forcing all of my attention onto nothing but the way she looked.   
Her hips swayed with each step and I let my eyes follow her before I was eventually going to have to shove my feelings away. I knew that if she had already taken to Farkas and decided that she didn’t like me, I was going to have to stuff those feelings down until they became nothing more than added anger.   
The door closed behind her, effectively breaking her spell on me, and I pulled myself together. I knew that as I had seen many others before me, she was going to fall for Farkas, he was going to fall for her, they’d be fine for a few weeks, maybe a couple months, but then it would be over. He would feel suffocated and she would be heartbroken, just as I had seen it happen so many times in our past at Jorrvaskr.   
I rested my head on the table, feeling the unfinished wood itching at my skin, but didn’t care. It was just the beginning of pushing down my feelings, knowing that I had to get rid of them before Farkas could catch on. He always eventually found out about it, and I wouldn’t hear the end of it until the new whelps started showing up.   
Those feelings for her had to start receding soon or I was going to end up living with them for months. I needed to push them down until they no longer existed before I had the chance to fall harder for her, thus making it impossible.  
Walking down the stairs I decided to hide away in my bedroom until I had gotten over any feelings for her. She couldn’t worm her way into my heart if I didn’t see her anymore, and knew that it would be easiest to stay away from her. As long as I didn’t physically see her, it would be easy to distract myself from her. There were books in my room, and alcohol, both of which were equally distracting in these situations.   
“So, any idea who’s going to drop out first?” Farkas grabbed me by the arm, peering into the quarters of the whelps. I saw her sitting in the back corner with her eyes closed and her legs held tight to her body, and wondered if I did that, if I was the one who upset her that much.   
“Who cares, they’re all the same, every year.” I didn’t mean to sound so rude, but he was asking dumb questions when I was trying to be alone.   
“Come on Vilkas, you don’t have to be so mean to them.” I wanted to yell at him, to scream that the only reason he was nice was to get into their pants, but I decided to hold back. It wasn’t his fault that he was that way, just as it wasn’t my fault that I had been born with a mind far older than my body.   
“Why should I be nice?” My deeper anger got the better of me, the monster living inside me growling internally. “Half of them are going to end up hating us after you’ve slept with them anyway.” Whoops, guess I decided in the moment not to hold that piece back. He smirked as if he already knew that I was going to say this, and already had a remark made up in the back of my mind.   
“It isn’t my fault you can’t get a girlfriend of your own, Vilkas, you don’t have to be so mean to me either.” He crossed his arms victoriously, as if he had just collectively won every argument we’d ever had.   
I turned on my heel and stormed on down the hallway toward my room, letting him believe that he had bested me for once. I slammed the door behind me, unsure how much of my anger was actually directed at him, or if it was simple jealousy. I had always been jealous that despite my mental abilities, women always swooned for nothing more than a flex of his arm muscles.   
Falling onto my bed I couldn’t decide if I wanted to punch the pillow or to read   
through the rest of the weekend. My books had always been a source of comfort for me, providing me with knowledge that could save my life, since I didn’t have the same level of physical strength as many other Companions.  
My worn copy of A Dream of Sovngarde felt so at home in my hands that it was already making me feel better. I had read it dozens of times, searching for what was true and what was sensationalized, always coming to different conclusions after each read.   
It felt good to have a book in my hands once more, the anger that had raged  
through my body calming once again from the familiar words. I lost myself in the world of the Nord soldier and his dreams, letting my mind belong to his instead of my own feelings.   
I had to let the books take control, or it was going to happen all over again. I had fallen for very few women during my time at Jorrvaskr, but each time I had taken too long and ended up living in Farkas’s shadow. Each time they had fallen for him and by the time I had worked up some nerve, they’d already been captured by his superior form and dazzling smile, leaving me as the weird brother who spent too much time alone with old books.   
But this time, it wasn’t going to happen. This time, I wasn’t going to give her a chance to see me as anything more than a stranger. This time, I wasn’t going to confess my feelings in a pathetic attempt to win her affections. This time, I wasn’t going to go anywhere near her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sort of leaning toward Vilkas at the moment, but am still completely open to any reader opinions! Thank you for reading, it means so much to me


	4. Farkas Gets Wasted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Farkas and Elynea throw some punches and try to outdrink one another, making Farkas wonder what exactly his feelings are regarding her.

Days passed, and Vilkas’s anger toward me only seemed to grow. He spent most of his time in his room with the door shut tight, snarling at me every time I tried to enter. The last time I’d opened his door he threw a book at me, after that I’d left him alone.   
I’d seen a Tilma taking plates of food into his room every few hours, though she always exited shaking her head and muttering about ‘that damn boy’. I wanted to check on him, to make sure that my brother was going to be okay, but was too scared of heightening his rage once again. I’d seen him through all sorts of bouts of anger, from annoyance to blind rage, and had learned that he always wanted to be left alone, no matter how badly I wanted to go to him, to try to make him feel better.   
“Is your brother okay?” Elynea’s voice was soft from my side and I looked down at her, unsure of how much to say to her. I didn’t want to make Vilkas seem like some jerk who threw stuff at his brother to the whelps, but I didn’t want to lie and have them find out the hard way.   
“Yeah, he just gets sort of angry.” I shrugged, not wanting to go into great detail and hoping that she’d drop it. She nodded, keeping in step beside me, and I was glad that she wasn’t going to pry about Vilkas. It was nice to finally have a female presence near me that I could be myself around. She wasn’t either undressing me with her eyes, or making condescending comments about how I should treat women, she was just there.   
It was comfortable to have someone close to me other than Vilkas that I could talk to. She would listen to my tales of combat as if I was the greatest storyteller alive, despite everyone else constantly reminding me that I lacked Vilkas’s brains. She didn’t judge me because I didn’t know as many words as him, and usually ended up telling the same stories just with different enemies. She listened to me regardless, her eyes shining, showing me that she wasn’t just pretending to listen to me.   
“I like your stories.” She smiled up at me, and it was so genuine, unlike the smiles I got when I tried to prove that I was just as smart as Vilkas. He could read all the books he wanted and learn all the words that I never would, but that didn’t change his abilities during a fight, and I hated that people seemed to pity me for that.   
“You know, you could tell me some of your stories sometime, it doesn’t have to be me yammering on all the time.” She looked shocked, as if no one had ever wanted to hear about her past before. Her eyes were wide and the smile slipped from her face, her face paling a little at the thought.   
“I don’t really have any interesting stories to tell,” she bit her lip, walking quicker to keep up with me on her shorter legs. I wanted to insist, that I shouldn’t be the one doing all the talking between the two of us, but she already looked so uncomfortable. I didn’t want to push her too far and end up losing my first friend in a long time, but I wanted to know something about her more than her name.   
I knocked my elbow against her arm, feeling better around her than I had been feeling about Vilkas lately. He was supposed to be my brother, the person closest to me and was there no matter what, but he had become a recluse. He didn’t know that I’d made a friend, as far as he knew he’d left me completely alone in Jorrvaskr. He’d always been somewhat distant from me, but I never thought that he’d leave me on my own to sulk without even telling me what was wrong.   
“I think Vilkas was going on easy on you when you fought him.” I hadn’t yet figured out how easy it was to joke around with her, and decided to test the waters.   
“Yeah right.” She snorted, pushing her hair away from her face. I raised an eyebrow, watching as she made her way out to the training yard, tossing me a challenging gaze over her shoulder.   
“Come on then, show me what you’re made of.” I let my sword drop onto one of the tables, squinting to look at her through the bright midday sun.   
I watched as she pulled off the outer later of her armor, leaving her in a thin leather shirt and her armored pants. She raised an eyebrow and lifted her fists, her right hand free of the humming magic that I knew she was accustomed to. She smiled, holding herself in a battle ready stance, her hands just waiting to fly at me.   
I raised my hands, knowing that she was going to hit first and wanting to block the hardest of them. I felt a few punches land on my arms and she smiled, curving one to hit my chest. I felt the blow hit the lowest of my ribs and was assured by her strength that she had seen some sort of combat already. I didn’t show it, but my rib was already aching, surely a bruise forming where she had landed a hit.   
“You going to hit back?” She taunted me, dancing away from the first of my attempts at a punch. I hadn’t put much force behind it and it had made me slow, allowing her to easily dance away from my hand.   
After a few more of her hits landed on my body, though, I knew that I didn’t have to go easy on her. She handled the few punches that met her armor well, only flinching for a moment before it stopped bothering her. Watching the way she took a hit without minding showed me that she had something that many whelps in the past had lacked, perseverance.  
“I yield.” She raised her hand, the other clutching around her middle as she fought to catch her breath. I could see her through the sweaty tendrils of hair stuck to my forehead. She leaned over, hands resting on her knees and she smiled at me, her face shining with a thin layer of sweat.   
I felt more comfortable around her after I’d found out what she was made of, and  
had learned that I shouldn’t underestimate her in battle. She swiped her hand across her forehead, walking toward me and clasping her hand over my shoulder. She was breathing heavily and I couldn’t keep my eyes from glancing down at her chest, but just for a moment.   
“Guess you’re not as weak as I thought you were.” She laughed sarcastically at my words, turning and walking toward Jorrvaskr. I saw her pull her hair up and let my eyes trail down her shape, pausing on her hips as she walked away from me.   
My first instinct was usually to make some comment on her beauty in an attempt to capture her affections, but I wasn’t sure that I was willing to jeopardize the newly formed friendship we had made. It was the first new friend I’d made in a while, and I wasn’t willing to risk it just to see the body that resided under her armor.   
Besides, she was smarter than most of the girls that fell for my ‘accidental’ muscle flexing and lines about their beauty. She wouldn’t have fallen for something so cheap and easily reused on someone else, and I already knew it. I could already tell that if she ever fell for someone, it was going to be something real, and I wasn’t sure that I was ready to give that to her, if she even wanted me.   
I walked into Jorrvaskr to see her drinking deeply from a mug and smiled. I’d been in Whiterun for so long it had been easy to learn the customs of people living there. Women, for some reason, had never taken to ale, probably because it was viewed as such a masculine drink. But as I watched her down an entire mug and set it back down on the table, I was reassured that she wasn’t from Whiterun, or any of the other major cities that I had visited. Women in those cities often focused on being ladylike, steering away from anything that was viewed as manly, but she didn’t.   
She smiled in my direction, gesturing for me to go drink with her, and I couldn’t resist. She was holding out another mug that was already sweating from being so cold and I walked closer, easily pulling it from her grasp.   
“So you can fight,” she took a drink, puncturing her sentence as her eyes met mine, “but can you hold your drink?”   
“Watch yourself whelp,” she rolled her eyes at the word.   
As the night progressed, our mugs were both filled and emptied over and over, and though her words started to slur and her cheeks filled with color, she held her own. She kept up with me drink for drink and I was amazed. My own head was buzzing, and I knew that I was drunk when I contemplated kissing her.   
Her lips were pursed from someone else shaming us for drinking so much, and all that I could think about was pulling her mouth to mine. I wasn’t sure how it would feel. I’d had drunk kisses and sober kisses, passionate kisses and kisses with women that I barely had any feelings for, and I wasn’t sure how it would feel to kiss her. Her lips were a little dry and her eyes met mine, widening for a moment.   
She smiled, only pulling me in more, and I couldn’t tell if I really wanted to kiss her, or if I was just that drunk. I pushed the thoughts away upon seeing Vilkas enter the room, wanting to call out to him but fearing in the back of my mind that he would reprimand me for being so intoxicated.   
_“Vilkas!”_ I leaned forward, leaning over Elynea’s shoulder, reaching out to my brother. I wanted him to come closer so that I could see if he was okay, or if he was still angry, and the alcohol seemed to be affecting my vision.   
He looked stunned, his back straight, and he stopped in his tracks. He looked at me and Elynea turned her head, almost smacking me across her face with her dark hair in the process. I saw his eyes flash to meet hers and he frowned, looking more uncomfortable than I had seen him in years. His hands were wringing together and he took a step down the stairs, quickly descending into Jorrvaskr’s living quarters once more.   
I was sure that I wanted to check on him, but I wasn’t sure that I’d be able to safely make it down the stairs. I wanted to ask him why he had looked so upset, or why he’d run back down to his room, but all I could focus on was Elynea shoving me back into my chair and refilling her mug again. I promised myself that I’d check on him in the morning, allowing myself to fall back into my drunken stupor and the stories tumbling out of my mouth.


	5. Elynea's Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elynea is stunned when Vilkas starts treating her like a normal person, and considers her feelings for Farkas and Vilkas
> 
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> I do not own Vilkas, Farkas, Jorrvaskr, Dustman's Cairn, the Companions, Skyrim, or anything other than my original female character, all credit goes to Bethesda

The Companions might have been dangerous, but Farkas was safe. He was my friend and my protector from the others who judged me for being too new or too small. He was the one that glared at people when they treated me like trash for being a whelp, and the one who spoke up for me when someone was snickering behind my back.   
Vilkas, on the other hand, was the only one I usually felt I didn’t need any protection from. His glares had turned to pretending that I didn’t exist, turning his head and quickly starting conversation with someone as soon as I entered the room. I’d tried reaching out to him, both sober and otherwise, but after that night that he saw me drinking with Farkas, he had decided I didn’t exist. I must have been pretty unprofessional for him to dislike me so strongly, though I wished that I could do something to change his mind.   
I took a step closer to him, feeling Farkas’s eyes watching me the whole time. Resting a hand on Vilkas’s shoulder I felt his muscles tighten under my touch, biting my lip in anticipation for getting my head bitten off. He turned, eyes blazing as they met mine, and I wanted to turn and run away from him.   
“What does it mean to be a Companion?” I’d been asking every Companion that I had run into, hoping to figure out how I was supposed to act around the others. It was an innocent enough question, able to gather enough information without letting them know that I was analyzing how to act around them.   
He just huffed and turned back around, his hands working on polishing the blade of his great sword. I pulled my hand away, disappointed that despite my gentle pushes to get to know him, he still seems so angry toward me.   
“What brings you to me? Find some strange creature in your travels?” His voice was rough and I wondered what that was supposed to mean, but decided I was glad that he wasn’t shouting or glaring at me. Farkas stood beside me, looking increasingly uncomfortable, as if he was worried that his brother was going to start slinging insults at any minute. I suppose that it was possible, I had seen him deal out some words that could break hearts, glad that I had never been on the receiving end of his anger.   
“No I, just,” I let my words trail off, my heart racing at the thought of actually talking him. For days he’d glared at me from a distance, the only time I heard his voice was when he would talk briefly with Farkas, never engaging in conversation with me. I could feel my face flushing with blood and stayed near to him, hoping that he was beginning to hate me a little less as I proved my worth to the Companions. I wanted to show him that I wasn’t worthless, or going to drop out when things got tough. I wanted to be a Companion and wanted him to know it. I felt a fierce push to prove myself to him, wanting to prove him wrong about me, to show him everything that I could do to help them.   
His eyes met mine again, and for the first time he looked upon me without malice or anger. By no means did he look pleased to see me, but at least he didn’t appear to hate my very presence. He set down the sword and turned toward me, and I could almost feel Farkas’s anxiety in the air around us. My heart races and I balled up my fists, prepared to defend myself if necessary.   
“Come to me with questions. I know our history almost as well as Vignar by now.” He chuckled softly and I felt like my heart stopped for a moment. “Except I can remember it.”  
I knew that my mouth looked dumb hanging open, but I couldn’t believe it. He was talking to me and laughing, offering to teach me the history of the Companions instead of walking away and glaring at me. I didn’t know how to react but forced a smile, not wanting to mess up the delicate hint of friendship that I had managed to form with him.   
He raised an eyebrow at me as if I was supposed to say something back, but I didn’t want to keep talking and ruin everything. I simply kept smiling and walked past him, feeling Farkas stay by my side until I took a seat at the table.   
“What was that about?” His voice was low as if Vilkas was apt to hear us from across the room, though he didn’t appear to be paying any attention to us. His sword was in his hands once more and his eyes were focused downward, but I couldn’t take mine off him.  
“I don’t know.” I could feel my fingers tingling a little where I had touched him, wanting to touch him once again. He hadn’t been as bulky as Farkas was, but he was strong, and I could tell by the way that he had flexed that there was strength in his wiry muscles. His eyes were actually nice when they weren’t glowering at me, and he had quite an attractive mouth when they weren’t working to hurt someone’s feelings.   
He pushed his hair away from his face and I couldn’t take my gaze away from him. I knew that Farkas was probably uncomfortable but I didn’t care. Vilkas turned his head, meeting my gaze for a moment, the slightest hint of a smile dancing around his mouth and at that moment I knew that all was lost. My heart skipped at the sight before he turned back to his sword, leaving me with a light heart and an empty mind.   
“You okay?” Farkas’s voice pulled me back to reality and I sat up straight, pushing my hair away from my face.   
“Yeah.” I cleared my throat, rubbing my hand over my face to hide the color rising there. I didn’t want him to think that I was interested in his brother, I wasn’t. I couldn’t be. He was such a jerk, always sulking about and insulting people at every chance, there was no way I would be interested in someone like him.   
“You look funny.” I looked up at Farkas, unsure of how I was supposed to respond to that. Of course I looked funny, I was completely and utterly confused about his brother. One day he was a total jerk to me, not so coincidentally asking Farkas why I was even let into the Companions in the first place and always reminding me that I was a whelp, and the next he was offering to share his knowledge.   
“No I don’t.” I pushed my arm against his, hoping to distract him from the conversation without having to talk about it. I didn’t want to have to explain my changing feelings about his brother. I didn’t want to have to tell him that no matter how many other girls were drooling over him all the time, he was my good friend and that was it. He’d never shown any type of interest in me, but I knew that men had egos, and I didn’t want to mess things up by hurting his.   
Vilkas glanced quickly over at me once more, making me feel like I could spit up my own heart at any second, and I didn’t know what was wrong with me. He had been so rude for so long, I couldn’t tell why he was suddenly acting so nicely toward me. He smiled halfway as he made his way back down the stairs, leaving me in a daze after his departure.   
I didn’t know what I was feeling for him, and I was even more clueless about what to do about my feelings. I wanted to talk to him, to figure him out even more, but didn’t want to end up shocking him back into his angry state. I wanted to be near him, but had never seen anyone else close to him besides Farkas, and had already begun to notice that he wasn’t a fan of physical contact.   
“You ready for some work?” Farkas’s voice interrupted my thoughts, thankfully grounding me in reality once again. The thought of helping the Companions had me leaping at the opportunity, wanting to take any chance to prove myself to them all. To Vilkas.   
“Absolutely.”   
“Good. Dustman’s Cairn needs clearing out, plus, there’s a rumor that there’s a fragment of Wuuthrad hidden down there. We usually don’t follow every tip we get, but we’re getting desperate. You feeling up to the task?”   
I nodded furiously, holding my hair back away from my face. I hadn’t been down into any caverns since joining the Companions, devoting my time to proving my worth to them. He smiled, his hand clapping down on my shoulder.   
“Good. I’ll be your shield-brother on this quest, so you don’t have to go alone. Plus, I’ll get a chance to see what you’re made of out there in the real world.”   
I knew that I was going to prove myself. I had to. I had to show them that I was worthy of joining their ranks. I had to show every single one of them that there was no reason to doubt me or my devotion. Farkas was strong, that I knew, and was glad that he was going to be accompanying me on my first quest for the Companions.   
As I gathered up my belongings I felt my heart sink a little bit. I knew that Farkas was going to be great to go on a quest with - he was strong and focused, probably the best person that I could hope to go with me, but a little piece of me was upset that it wasn’t Vilkas by my side on my first quest. He was smart and knew what to do in every situation, everyone I’d asked had told me how smart he was.   
At least the ride to Dustman’s Cairn was going to give me a chance to think about everything. I’d always been able to think clearer when I was out on the move, free from the cities and their oppressive walls and judgmental gazes from citizens. I was free to consider Vilkas and his new actions toward me, as well as the new reactions I was having regarding him. The only question I wanted to avoid, despite all of my thoughts about him, was what was I going to do about it?


	6. Chapter 6

The ride back from Dustman's Cairn was quiet, but it was not a calm quiet. There was a thick air of tension between Farkas and myself as we rode back toward Whiterun tinged with awkwardness. I had seen a flash of fur and teeth and blood spraying in every direction before I knew what was happening. He looked like he was out of control and I didn't know what I was supposed to do; did he still know that he was on my side? Did he still understand who I was, or even who he was?  
My mind drifted back to Vilkas, only serving to confuse me further. If Farkas was a werewolf, surely Vilkas was too. There was no way that the two twins could have something so different between the two of them. He was cold, distant, confusing, and not even human on top of it all. Was he worth the struggle? I thought that I had made a decision regarding him, that I had decided to go for it, but what would he do when he found out that I knew his secret? He was so aloof around me that I began to dread returning, just as I saw the outline of Whiterun growing out on the horizon. The rising sun burst in an array of colors behind the peaks of the city and my heart dropped. I was going to have to talk to Farkas sometime, and Vilkas was going to find out that I knew. I knew what he was.  
"You scared of me?" Farkas's voice was soft, laced with vulnerability as he sat next to me. I hadn't realized how close he had gotten to me and I jumped at first, scrambling to find some sort of answer. Of course I wasn't scared of Farkas, not anymore, but I was scared of Vilkas. I was scared of how he was going to react when he found out that I knew about Farkas, worrying that he was either going to explode and hurt someone or implode and become dark and brooding again. I didn't know which was worse, but Farkas's eyes were wide and searching my face for an answer.  
"'Course not." I smiled, not wanting to lose my only friend. His smile broke through his face and it was so welcome and lovely that I wanted to hug him. He had looked so scared, as if I was his only friend just like he was mine.  
"Good." He nodded, hopping off his horse as we reached the stables, my stomach flipping with worry. "And don't be scared of Vilkas. It's all a big act, he's not scary." I wanted to scoff aloud, but settled for rolling my eyes.  
"Okay." My mind flashed to dozens of images of Vilkas's glare, his strong hands polishing his sword every time I saw him, his face pinched shut in badly hidden anger.  
"He's just bad with people, I promise." Farkas smiled beside me as if he didn't have a care in the world, as if he hadn't just turned into a werewolf in front of me and end up taking out a bunch of enemies with barely a sweep of a hand. He didn't really seem to care that we could be walking into a situation in which his brother could explode, possibly happening while he was holding his sword, possible accidentally slicing my head clean off for knowing about him.  
The doors of Jorrvaskr opened in front of me and he was there, immediately clasping his arms around Vilkas. He didn't seem to notice my presence until I heard Farkas whispering something, Vilkas's eyes flashing open and finding me. I wanted to cower, to hide from his gaze until he forgot about my existence, but I stood my ground. He needed to stop seeing me as nothing more than a whelp, weak and helpless without a shield brother or sister. He flung himself away from Farkas and grabbed my wrist, dragging me into the darkest corner of the hall. My heart was racing in my chest as he leaned down, keeping himself level with my eyes. His breath was hot on my face and his fingers were squeezing my wrist bones but I didn't complain.  
"You know?" He barely spoke, his lips pressing tightly together once they were done talking.  
"Yes."  
There was a long pause before he acted again, his nose brushing mine as he leaned in closer to me, seeming to analyze me. It was as if he thought that I was lying, like he was searching me for some hint of fear.  
"Are you scared?" He looked so open, so vulnerable and I couldn't bear it. He looked like a child waiting for approval from an unwilling parent, like someone who had never been approved of in his whole life and was desperately searching for someone to tell him that he wasn't a monster. That he was good. I wasn't going to lie to him, I knew that he would be able to tell if I lied and didn't want to make myself look even worse in front of him.  
"No. I'm not scared."  
For a moment I thought that he was going to kill me, to rip out his great sword and cut through me, but I was wrong. His lips were rough and warm and tasted a little bit like sweat, his fingers pushing through my hair. I didn't know what exactly was happening, all that I knew was that I didn't want it to stop. As I let my arms crawl around his neck I knew that I never wanted it to stop. He was so warm and open, as if I was the first person he'd let into his life in years and I loved it.  
He pulled away, letting his forehead brush against mine as I realized that my back was pressed against the wall. The hall was empty except for Farkas who was trying to distract himself by fiddling with a string on his tunic. I felt Vilkas's on mine once in a short, chaste kiss before he smiled, making me smile in return. I didn't know what was going to happen the next day, if he was going to hate me again, but I knew that I was ready for it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elynea's excited to see Vilkas after he finds out that she knows, but will she be let down?

I slept uneasily that night, my mind wondering what was going to happen the next day. Was it possible that Vilkas might actually not hate me for a while, or was he drunk? He didn't taste like alcohol...  
My spine tingled and I could't suppress the smile as I realized that I knew what he tasted like. It had been hours since the kiss and I was still thinking about the tinge of his lips on my own, the sting of sweat that had been present on his mouth that he had left on mine. I didn't know why I loved it, but I did.  
I counted the moments until the son rose, wishing that it would hurry up and I wouldn't seem eager, but I couldn't wait. I dressed easily in my more relaxed gear, biting my lip and trying to keep the spring out of my step as I made my way down the hall. I'd been planning throughout my sleepless night, knowing that I was going to casually check on Farkas to make sure he was doing okay after the mission, and just so happen to accidentally knock on Vilkas's door as well. They were down their own hallway, it was plausible to get their rooms mixed up.  
I bit back my smile as I knocked on the door I knew Farkas rested behind, but I was met with nothing but silence. Was it possible that he was still asleep, or had I upset my only friend by kissing his brother? Granted, I hadn't initiated it, but I didn't try to hide the fact that I loved every second of it.  
"Farkas?" I called his name, trying not to let the edge of worry creep into my voice, but I feared the worst. He knew that I knew, what if he was even more upset than Vilkas had been? I'd never seen him angry, and I wasn't excited about the possibility.  
I gently pushed open the door, peeking through the tiny crack, wishing only to see if he was in his bed. The blanket rested neatly on the mattress, a curled piece of parchment my only clue. I snuck into his room, tiptoeing just in case I wasn't supposed to be in there, and unfurled the paper as quickly as possible.  
 _Eleyna -_  
 _Got called on a last minute mission, sorry I didn't get to say goodbye._  
 _We'll be back soon, I'll work on being more entertaining so you don't have to ditch me for my lame brother._  
I relaxed some, but instantly stressed when I realized that I wasn't going to get any time with Vilkas that day. Little did I know, I wasn't going to get any the day after, or even the day after that. It felt like I had spent weeks waiting around for Farkas to return, my side always feeling empty and quiet without him there to make comments about everyone to lighten my load. I flipped through the book in front of me for what felt like the thousandth time, though my eyes didn't capture any of the words that time either. I kept glancing at them, each tiny sound setting my eyes flicking up toward the door, trying to find the figure of Farkas making its way into the ring of my candlelight, each time I was met with emptiness.  
Rolling over onto my pillow, I let my eyes rest, routinely open them just in case one of the brothers tried to sneak past the rest of us into their rooms. I knew that it had been three days since the incident with Vilkas, since I found out about them, since everything about my life with the Companions changed for good. I thought at the time that it was going to be a change for the better, but I knew better in that moment. Vilkas didn't want me, Farkas didn't want to be my friend, I was going to be alone once more because I couldn't control myself.  
The time between my glances at the door grew longer as the night wore on, and I couldn't fight the inevitability of sleep anymore. I fell asleep wondering which brother was going to rebuff me first upon their return and I couldn't decide which one was worse. My feelings for Vilkas had changed so much over the past few days and I thought that seeing him was going to help set me straight, but he'd just disappeared. Farkas was my best friend in that place and I didn't want to lose his friendship over anything, especially something out of my control.  
Waking up in the middle of the night, I heard footsteps. My eyes snapped open but I was missing the light from a candle that had probably gone out long ago. I didn't want to look foolish in front of the others, but couldn't help but yearn for knowledge. Was it them, were they back? Would I finally get to see one of them again, or possibly both?  
I heard the feet moving closer and my mind conjured up pictures of Farkas walking up to my bed, wanting to tell me about something that he killed on his last run or how boring Vilkas had been. I tried to sit up but felt a hand on my shoulder, fear and curiosity shooting through me. Could it have been Farkas trying to scare me?  
"You awake?"  
Vilkas's whisper was smooth and I nodded, feeling instantly stupid upon realizing that he couldn't see me through the darkness filling the room.  
"Kind of." I started to sit up, grasping my blankets to my chest as I remembered the shirt that I wore over my body in place of the usual armor. I could feel a pressure on the edge of my bed that meant he sat down, my heart racing so loudly he could probably hear it.  
I felt his lips pass over mine, barely enough of a touch for my mind to register before it was taken away again. My chest ached and I leaned forward, searching for his almost unnatural warmth in the cool of the night air. His hand slid from my shoulder and rested where it fell on top of mine, his calloused fingers rough on my skin.  
His lips passed over mine a few more times before I felt the slick skin of his forehead touch my own, my breathing hitching. He had never been so close to me apart from our last moment together, which had left me just as thoroughly confused. I pushed my fingers against his, feeling his hand wrap around mine, enveloping me in his heat.  
"Are you afraid of me?" His voice was a murmur that floated through the room, the way his lips formed the words right there against my own making me shiver.  
I couldn't lie, I never doubted that for a moment. I wasn't going to lie to him and risk him disappearing from my world again.  
"No."  
That seemed to be the magic word, for at that moment I lost myself in his kiss again. He was just as sweaty and warm, his hand gripping mine tightly against my blanket. I didn't think about anything else other than him and hooked my free arm around his neck, intending to keep him from leaving me again. It felt so good, it made my skin tingle and my stomach melt and flip around at the same time. It was as if nothing bad could happen in my world as long as he was there, his warm lips working against mine.  
I dragged him closer to myself, feeling my body react to his kisses and his closeness and wanted more. I wanted as much of him as i could get and he was giving it to me, at least for the moment. I pressed myself against him and he didn't pull away, letting me know that he wasn't about to pull away.  
"I thought about you." I grinned to myself in the darkness at his words, worried that he was going to recede at any moment and I was going to lose him all over again.  
"I thought about you too." I admitted, the small chuckle that must have come from deep in his chest making my heart soar.  
"You're not afraid of me?" He asked again, and I knew that my knowing about him had already touched a nerve.  
"No. Are you afraid of me?" I whispered the words, feeling my fingers shaking. It was, after all, the longest conversation we had ever held.  
"Terrified." He chuckled again, his lips meeting mine and I forgot everything. His fingers slipped into my hair that had been knotted with sleep and it made me forget every glare that had passed between us. His nose brushed mine and I didn't even care that it was my best friend's brother. He was perfect and warm and solid and not gone for once and I was going to take full advantage of it.  
Before I knew what was happening his body was stretched next to mine, my fingers knotted easily with on the pillow above our heads. I didn't know if he was looking at me or not, I didn't even know if he was awake anymore, but I watched the muted outline of his mouth from the minute amount of light and smiled to myself. I had finally kissed him, I finally knew whether or not he hated me.  
"I take it you're staying here tonight?" I whispered the words against the skin of his cheek, a gentle laugh meeting my ears and sending my heart racing. It was the only answer that I got, but it was enough for me.  
I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed to myself, content with the almost inaudible sound of his breathing next to me as I pondered what my next move was going to be. Was I supposed to leave, get another bed, or was I supposed to stay? Was I supposed to pretend nothing that happened, or was I going to acknowledge what had definitely been the best kiss of my life?  
With one of his arms around my waist I let myself fall asleep again, still dreaming about the same lips I had been dreaming about since the moment I got to kiss them. I didn't know what I was going to wake up to, but what I got wasn't even on my list of expectations. I couldn't help but wonder if the night before had been a dream, but the footsteps in the dirt floor and the snoring coming from Farkas's room proved to me that he really was back, even if I didn't expect him to kiss me. I wasn't sure what I was expecting from him the next day, and what I got shocked me. I was expecting maybe a kiss, or at least a hug from him, possibly an explanation of what had changed his mind or why he had said that he was scared of me.  
I wasn't expecting an empty bed.


	8. Farkas's Frustration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Farkas is glad to have his brother back in his life, but isn't ready to lose his friend
> 
>  
> 
> I don't own any of the characters or places involved, all credit goes to Bethesda!

"Farkas."  
Vilkas whispered my name from the crack in my door and I rolled over, glaring at him. I didn't know why he was already waking me up, we'd only returned a few hours ago, and he already wasn't letting me sleep.  
"What do you want?"  
"Need to talk to you." He fidgeted and I knew that it was important, his face free of the anger that had resided there for the past few weeks. I sat up in my bed and beckoned him in, watching as he awkwardly sat down on a stool facing me.  
"What's wrong?" He looked like he'd just murdered someone, the guilt written all over his face and I feared what he was about to tell me. I didn't know where he had gone when he took off ahead of me on our return, but it couldn't be good, based on the cloudiness in his eyes.  
"I kissed her." He whispered the last words I would have expected out of his mouth, his fingers twisted into impossible knots. He looked as if he was going to explode from the pain inside, but knew that he had to be at least a little bit happy about it. Jealousy hit my chest when I realized who he meant, but I bit it back. I hated the thought of him taking away the only friend that I'd been able to make in a while, but wanted them to be happy more than I wanted them to want to be around me.  
"And?" I smiled, pushing forward the cockiness he was used to in an attempt to comfort him. "What's the problem?"  
"I've been trying to get over her," he looked up at me, looking smaller since he'd removed the armor that had covered him the past few days. He looked scared and like he had been thinking a lot, and I knew just too well how much trouble his brain could get him into.  
"Why?"  
"Well you like her, don't you?" He laughed sarcastically, one of his eyebrows raising as he glared at me. I didn't know how to respond, I didn't even want to respond to him.  
"No." I leaned forward, hitting my knuckles against his. "We're friends, but I've seen her look at you."  
"Me?" There was that same sarcastic laugh that I hated. He was mocking me without even having to say anything. "Farkas, no woman looks at me."  
"She does." I'd held back for so long, wondering how long I could last without getting involved. "I may not be as smart as you, but I'm far from dumb. That day you stopped being an ass and finally smiled at her? I thought her brain melted. She wasn't even saying words, it was gibberish." He laughed quietly to himself, his face blushing in a way I was unaccustomed to.  
"You're you, and I'm me." He looked resigned, as if he had already given up before he even tried. "Women don't look at me the way they look at you, especially a woman like her."  
"You kissed her though, and I didn't hear any screaming so she must have been okay with it." He laughed with me this time and it felt so good. I missed my brother whenever he spiraled down into one of his moods, and it was always so refreshing when I got him back.  
"She asked if I was going to sleep there, so I figured she was trying to tell me to get to my own bed." He chewed on his lip and somehow looked younger than I had seen him in years, through all of the stress and thoughts that always lined his face.  
"You're so thick." I stood up, handing him a bottle of ale as we settled in for the time being. "Do I have to teach you about all this again?"  
"About what?"  
"Women, brother." I took a drink, watching his fingers fiddle with the label on the bottle, though the smile was still on his face. "Women are hard to read anyway, but you've picked a smart one, so it's going to be even harder."  
"I didn't pick her," he was looking at me, but I knew that he was lost within his own mind, reviewing memories only he could see. "I just saw her and that was it."  
"First, I've got to ask." I knew that I was getting crass, but the lack of proper sleep and flowing alcohol was taking away my filter. "Do you just want to sleep with her? Because I saw that kiss-"  
 _"Farkas."_  
"What? You looked like you were going to take her right there in the hall." I took another drink, relishing in the way his face was blossoming bright red.  
"It's more than that." I nodded at his words, taking another drink while he continued. "But that wouldn't be such a bad thing."  
Those days were the closest I felt to my brother in a long time. We spent our time together, working on plans for the Companions during the day and his plans for Elynea during the evening hours. He even took to sleeping on the small couch in my room, his face usually red from a combination of laughter and embarrassment.  
On the third night we spent together, drinking and talking, he looked more serious than he had in quite a few hours. With the amount of alcohol in his system he'd been laughing quite a lot, especially at my less filtered words.  
"What should I do, Farkas?" He looked at me as if I wasn't the one everyone thought was dumb, as if I was the one who had the answers instead of him. He wasn't mocking me for my different knowledge or jealously complaining about it, he was sincerely asking me. I wasn't sure how to answer, and I had held onto my insecurities throughout all of our talks, and they were reemerging. I wanted him to be happy just as I wanted her to be happy, but my fear of losing both of them from my life was only getting stronger.  
"You should go get her." He nodded, looking up at me as if I was more than his brother, as if I was once again his friend. "And this time, don't just kiss her."  
"What else should I do?"  
"You have to do what feels right, say what comes in the moment, but get your point across." He looked so studious I laughed to myself, only confusing him further. "Be direct and get your point across, whatever point it is you want to make when you talk to her."  
"I don't know how to say it."  
"What are you feeling?"  
"Like I want to be with her." He sighed, his foot tapping in his signature sign of anxiety. "And like I really want to kiss her again."  
Pushing my own anxiety down, I knew that if she really was my friend, she wasn't going to stop just because Vilkas had feeling for her. If she really was my friend, she wasn't going to stop seeing me because of a new relationship. If I was really her friend, I wouldn't put myself and my own feelings in the way of their happiness, no matter how much I feared falling out of both of their lives.  
Clapping my hand on his shoulder, I tried to convey as much positivity and optimism as I could manage.  
"Then go kiss her."


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elynea learns more about Vilkas, and is surprised when she agrees to prep with him for a mission
> 
>  
> 
> I do not own any of the characters or places involved, all credit goes to Bethesda!

“So,” my mouth was dry from the amount of times I’d started to talk, each time worming my way out of it again. Farkas looked down at me and I knew that I had to go through with it, I was all out of small talk.   
“So?” He raised his eyebrow at me and I felt like I was going to vomit out my entire stomach at the thought of talking to him about Vilkas.  
“I haven’t seen your brother around, how’s he doing?” Not as smooth as I had hoped, but not awful.   
He thought for a moment as we walked, his warm skin brushing against mine as we made our way through the streets of Whiterun. My heart raced as he took his time before answering, only making me wonder if I had crossed a line, what I had done wrong to make him hide from me again.   
“He’s been good, getting ready for his next big mission.” My heart sunk a little as he chuckled to himself at some joke that I clearly wasn’t getting. I wasn’t sure if I should push him or not, but I was yearning for any type of information.   
“He’s been weird around me.” It wasn’t a lie, even though it did sound fairly blunt. Farkas’s eyes twinkled as he looked at me, the Wind District opening up in front of us. People moved aside, recognizing him as a Companion, earning me a few unsure glances.   
“I heard.” Obviously Vilkas already told him, of course he did, they’re brothers.   
“Is he always like that around women?” I looked up at him, wanting to see if there was any tiny hints that he could’ve been lying to me, if I was just going to end up hurt in the end. His face didn’t move, he didn’t even seem to think before he answered.   
“No.”   
“What’s he usually like?” Too much prying, but I had to know.   
“Disinterested,” I watched intently as he took the shield back from Eorlund, leaving me to carry the greatsword in both of my arms. “He doesn’t have too much history with them.”  
I nodded, walking carefully down the hill, not wanting to fall in front of the same people I was trying to join ranks with. I had to hold my own, to prove to them that I was able to do the same tasks as everyone else.   
I knew that it was him standing in the training yard before he saw us, his back turned to us as he swung the blunted sword back and forth. I didn’t want to take my eyes off him as he tied his hair back out of his eyes, his heavy armor resting over the back of the chair, leaving him in a thin tunic.   
I didn’t realize that I’d fallen behind Farkas, my steps shorter as I put all of my attention on Vilkas. He struck the training dummy over and over in a technique I’d never seen, though I’d never had any proper training from anyone other than sneaks and thieves. I leaned against the sword in front of me, knowing that it was the one I had seen him cleaning so many times and trying to think up any reason to strike up a conversation with him.   
I watched as Farkas tapped him on the shoulder, easily missing a backswing that would have hit the side of his head. My stomach flipped as they turned to look at me, their words stolen by the breeze before they could meet my ears. I wanted to run away, to squirm out of their view as I saw both of them smile, the the hint of a laugh reaching me from where I stood.   
Farkas pointed to me and I watched Vilkas laugh, touching a nerve. Were they laughing at me because I was the one carrying the heavy sword? I wanted to ask, but wasn’t given a chance before Farkas stepped inside the hall, leaving me alone to look at Vilkas.   
I could see his face clearly, his hair still pulled away from his face as he walked toward me, letting the practice sword fall onto the table. I wanted to turn and run, to allow myself time to think of the words I wanted to say before he was in front of me, but there he was.   
“Thanks for getting that.” He smiled, easily lifting the sword from my hands, almost throwing my balance off. “Wasn’t too heavy for you?”  
I shook my head, feeling the sweat already gathering on my palms and trying to wipe it away on my pants. It felt like I had suddenly forgotten how to talk, as if every word I’d ever learned or used was escaping my mind and leaving me blank. I knew that the smile on my face was stupid and his eyes on me weren’t helping.   
“So, about the other night.” His voice was softer than before and I leaned in, wanting to make sure I heard every single thing he said. “Sorry about coming into your bed.”   
“No!” I blurted, wanting to slap my hand over my mouth. He looked shocked to say the least. “I mean, no, don’t be sorry.” I felt myself blushing as he leaned against the rocks, his body angling toward mine. I couldn’t help but remember the warmth of his body when he wrapped around me, the heat behind his movements when he first kissed me, and I wanted it all again.   
“I’m heading out for a mission tonight,” my stomach dropped and I leaned in closer to him, letting my hand rest on the rock next to his. “if you think you can handle it, stop by my room.”   
He left me at that, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he walked back into the hall. I didn’t know how long I watched after him, but eventually I found a way to make myself move again. I felt like the conversation had sucked all of the strength out of me and it took all of my will to push the door open, a familiar grin meeting me as soon as I stepped into the hall.   
“How’s it going?” Farkas’s tone of voice told me that he already knew how I was, but I took the bottle from his hands anyway. I was going to need to settle my nerves.   
“Your brother is confusing.” I took a deep drink before glancing around, making sure that he wasn’t within earshot.   
“You’re telling me.” He smirked, looking at me like he knew more than I did. “You should talk to him though.”   
I spent almost an hour pacing around, trying to figure out every word that I was going to say to keep myself from being on the spot, but my mind still felt empty by the time I found myself knocking on his door. I didn’t know what to expect and felt like I should shrink back into the shadows surrounding me, but held myself in place.   
When he opened the door it was if I could feel my mouth watering. He looked at me like he did before he kissed me, so serious and intense that it almost felt as if I could see all of the thoughts floating around within his eyes. He started to smile, one of his hands holding the wooden doorframe as he leaned forward. I didn’t know what to say, my stomach squirming with the intensity of his gaze.   
I don’t know who moved first, all that I remember is my back slamming against the wall as his lips met mine. He was rough as his hands held mine above my head, his hips pinning mine to the wall. I didn’t know that I was moaning until he shushed me, his body pressing mine into the wall as he kissed along my throat, below my ear.   
With a gasp I wrapped a leg around his waist, wanting nothing more than to get closer to him. His calloused fingers held my wrists and my head was spinning, the warmth and smell of him more intoxicating than the wine I had tasted on his breath.   
Pulling my hands from his grasp I grabbed his face, forcing my lips onto his again. I needed more of him, it felt like I’d lived my entire life in the dark and had finally found the light. The image of any other man who had ever captured my heart was erased, replaced with the image of his smile, the feeling of his lips. I pressed against his chest, wanting to convey how badly I wanted to be behind closed doors.   
Stepping into his room I kicked the door closed behind myself, hoping that my confidence held up enough to get my point across. I could see him in the dim candlelight, half of a smile on his face as I pushed his hair out of my way.   
“You wanted to talk?” I asked, noticing that his kiss had left me out of breath.  
“Not yet.”   
His voice was as rough as his kiss, his hand wrapping around the back of my neck as I was once again shown the light that was his kiss. His arms were strong around my waist as he slowed down, his forehead resting against mine. His nose brushed mine and I could feel his hands resting on the small of my back, holding my body flush with his.  
I didn’t know what was going to happen, or if there even was a mission, but I couldn’t contain my smile. He grinned back at me, his forehead leaving a sticky feeling on my own, his fingers twisting in and out of the loops on the back of my pants nervously.   
“Now we can talk.”   
I laughed along with him, my heart lightening some even though he stepped away from me. He leaned against the wall, his eyes meeting mine and I stepped closer, not wanting to create more distance between us.   
“There was talk of a mission?” I looked up at him, wondering if he was going to disappear again after kissing me, as he had in the past. I gripped the sleeve of his shirt in my hand, wishing that it was enough to keep him close.   
“We got word that someone’s been kidnapped, and we need to send someone to free them.” He paused, his fingers brushing over mine, sending a shiver up my arm. “I was planning to go alone, but if you’re interested, I’d like to see what you’re like out in the real world.”   
He looked hopeful and I grabbed his hand in mine, leaning in until I was able to rest my cheek on the scratchy fabric of his chest. His heart was pounding and I closed my eyes, glad to finally be freed from weeks of anxiety.   
“I’d love to go with you.” I felt myself blushing, loving the feeling of finally being able to touch him. He was so solid, so strong, it was nice to let myself rest against him after so much time spent wishing that I would even get to kiss him again.   
“Should I go and pack?” I looked up at him, biting my lip to hide the goofy smile threatening to burst out at the sight of him.   
“Or,” he murmured, his fingers tightening around mine, his eyes downcast, “you could stay here.”   
My heart raced as I could see the more human side of him holding on, the beast hidden for the time being. He looked so human and sober as he looked at me and I couldn’t think of anything else I could do other than stay with him.   
“This is your room.” I smiled, watching as he sat down on his bed.   
“It is indeed.”  
“And there’s only one bed.”   
“I guess you’ll have to stay with me.” He reached out his hands, drawing me in closer, the candlelight flickering off his features, only making him seem more mysterious.   
With a leg on either side of him I kneeled down, drawing his hair out of his face until I had a clear view of him. His face was flushed and he smirked, his hands holding my hips. I didn’t know where my confidence was coming from, but it was great.   
I felt his lips on my throat again, his fingers easily working their way under my armor and finding my skin. His touch felt so good and I couldn’t wait for more, already tugging the shirt over his head, exposing the body that I had spent more time than I would like to admit thinking about. My voice was low, all of my attention going to the areas of my skin he was touching, every cell of my body coming to life.  
“I guess I’m staying with you tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to need help! I would like to know if I should write smut for the next chapter or skip over it, please let me know if you have any opinions!
> 
> Also, I have been running low on ideas lately, if you have any pairings/prompts that you would like me to write, I would be more than willing to, don't hesitate to ask!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elynea and Vilkas leave on their mission, and she decides that she's going to stand up for herself
> 
> Smut & Angst, then more smut. Please read at your own discretion, definitely includes sexual content!!
> 
>  
> 
> I do not own any of the characters or places involved, nor do I claim to. All credit goes to Bethesda

“Careful,” his voice was quiet as he placed his hand over my mouth, his thumb tracing a line down my jaw. My eyes closed and I groaned against his hand, his hips snapping up to meet mine once again.  
I didn’t know how exactly we got to that point but it felt amazing. All of his muscles were tightened as they held himself above me, his hips completely setting the pace for both of us. His breathing was quiet and I dug my fingers into his back, wanting to hold him as close to me as I could get.  
With a grunt he thrust into me once again, leaving me panting into the rough skin of his hand. I could taste sweat on his skin and smirked, pushing my pelvis up towards his. His eyes were dark and his hair hung around his face and I wanted to kiss him so badly. I didn’t want him to stop, didn’t want to ever lose the feeling of his skin on every inch of mine.  
His pace quickened, his skin slick against mine and it felt better than anything I’d ever felt. Wrapping my legs around him I found the most perfect angle for him to hit until it felt like all of the bones in my body disappeared, leaving me moaning blissfully against his hand.  
He buried his face in my shoulder, panting heavily as his hand left my mouth. His arms were wrapping around my body and I held him close, loving the feeling of his lips resting easily against my shoulder. My hands danced over the cooler skin of his back, the night air stealing some of the heat from his exposed skin. I could feel the blanket sticking to my back as his weight pressed me into it, my heart racing.  
“I’ve never done that with someone so quickly before.” I muttered, my heart jumping at the quiet laugh that escaped him, his breath warming my skin.  
“Me neither.” He kissed my shoulder before rolling off to the side, his arm resting over my waist.  
His face was softer than I’d seen it as he looked at me, still causing me to blush.  
I had so many questions for him floating around in my head, what we were supposed to be, if he was going to avoid me again, if he wanted to do it again, how he felt about me, but I didn’t voice any of them. I’d seen him shy away from my questions already and didn’t want to push him away, instead choosing to lean into him.  
Letting his heat envelop me I kissed his chest, wishing that I could stay there forever, that there wasn’t a mission waiting for us. I felt him pull the bear skin blanket over my bare skin and closed my eyes, letting a hand wander down to his hips. His skin was still rough, a few scars criss crossing across his body, soft after years of being healed. I wanted to know where each of them had come from, to know every story about him.  
“Glad you stopped hating me.” My voice was muffled against his skin but I could feel the way his muscles tightened anxiously.  
“I never hated you.” I could feel him start to pull away, but I didn’t let him. I wasn’t going to let him shrink away again, throwing my arms around him to keep him pressed to me.  
“You don’t get to run away this time.” I tightened my grip around him to prove my point. “I’m not letting you run away from me again.”  
“I never ran away from you.”  
“That’s such a lie!” I sat up, clutching the blanket against my chest to hide my body from him. For the moment I wasn’t captured by his appearance or the gleam in his eye, I was hurt. Hurt that he was going to sleep with me, make it feel better than anyone else ever had, and still wanted to get away from me as soon as possible.  
“I wasn’t the one who spent weeks glaring at me and fawning over Farkas!” He sat up, his face a mask of anger that I had hoped to never see again. His words only served to stoke the fire already within me, prodding at the leftover anger.  
“I never _fawned_ over Farkas!” He laughed sarcastically and the sound broke my heart. He was so distant, so different from the man I had seen smiling at me only a few moments before, now the same person who had made me doubt myself for so long.  
“Oh right, because you never wanted him?”  
“Just because you’re insecure doesn’t make everything my fault. You’re the one who can’t make up your mind.” I forced my voice to be as cold as possible as he glared at me, wanting to make him hurt as much as he had hurt me. My hands were shaking as they held the blanket up, hiding myself from him even though I had just presented it to him so willingly.  
“I can’t make up my mind?” He was quiet, his eyes blazing as they met mine. “No, I can’t. I can’t decide whether I want to let you break my heart. I can’t decide if I’m even good enough for you. I can’t decide if I want to run away from you or kiss you again.”  
His words reverberated against the cave entrance around us, floating off into the darkness deeper in the rock. I had only walked a few paces in, enough to know that no bandits were camping out within, but wondered if there were even any animals in there awakened by our shouted admissions.  
The way he was looking at me was so open and vulnerable, lessening my anger toward him some. I knew from Farkas that Vilkas had trouble dealing with his emotions, but didn’t think that he would turn to anger.  
“Kiss me.” I whispered, leaning in closer to him.  
“What?” He still sounded angry, confusion clouding his face as I dropped the blanket to grab his face. I pulled him in close, climbing onto his lap as I kissed his soft lips, wanting to push away all of his insecurities and anxiety. I didn’t ever want him to fear being around me, didn’t want him to believe that I could ever break his heart.  
“Don’t run away.” I whispered, kissing down his neck, wiping away the last hints of his war paint with my thumbs, wanting to have a clear view of his face. “Just kiss me again.”  
He seemed less sure than the last time, his hands much more gentle each time they touched me. I knew that he was fragile even though he put up such a front of anger and that I needed to be careful with him as well.  
“Don’t leave.” He whispered and I could feel his body reacting to my touches and knew that I wanted him as well. “Don’t leave me.”  
It almost sounded like he was pleading with me as I kissed his face, making sure to touch all of his skin within my reach. I could see that his eyes were closed in the dwindling light from our fire and the barest amount of moonlight peeking through the clouds above us.  
The wind whistled past the cave wall and I wrapped myself around him, leaving kisses along his cheek. I didn’t know how long his moment of vulnerability was going to last but I didn’t want to accidentally rebuff him and hurt him again.  
“I’m not leaving.” Pushing his hair away from his face I kissed his temple, watching as he visibly relaxed. I wasn’t going to let him run away from me again.  
The kisses I left against his skin became less innocent, and soon I knew that I wasn’t simply comforting him. His thumbs grazed over my hips and I felt like I was coming undone.  
He held me close, my body still sensitive from earlier that night, but he felt so good I didn’t care. He felt so different from any of the lovers I had ever had before and I wanted more, leaning into him as his hands roughly pulling my mouth to his. I pressed closer to him, moaning into his mouth as I felt him enter me once more, feeling like my whole body was on fire.  
“You’re noisy.” He remarked, his voice gruff as he thrust his hips upward, pushing a loud gasp out of me.  
“You feel good.”  
I didn’t sleep much that night, which was likely bad planning for the mission ahead of us, but I didn’t feel tired the next day. I awoke after a few hours of sleep feeling calmer than I had been in weeks, buckling my armor onto myself without worrying about whether or not Vilkas was going to hate me or disappear as soon as he woke up.  
With the horse’s reins in his hands we walked toward the cave, anticipating the bandits that were surely waiting for us. I wasn’t afraid, I knew that we could handle whatever was waiting for us. As I walked next to him, his armor clanking quietly, I couldn’t help but look at him. I took in the ridge of his nose and the set of his jaw, wanting to rememorize his face after learning only how it looked when he was sullen and angry. I wanted to know everything about him, deeper than the anger that I had seen so far, and loved the way that he smiled when he saw me looking.  
“Do I look different in the daylight?” He joked, the smile dancing over his lips as he sheathed his sword.  
“A little.” I admitted, leaning my head against his arm as we walked, glad to finally be comfortable around him. I didn’t know what was going to happen with him next, but I at least knew that I didn’t need to fear him disappearing anymore.  
As we made our way through the fields, I felt his fingers twist around my own, holding my hand securely in his and I knew that I was done letting him run away from me for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to every single person who read this!! As I said, I am running low on ideas, and would love any type of pairing/prompt, does not need to be Skyrim related, I'll do anything from Harry Potter to anime and anything in between and would love to hear anyone's ideas!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PURE FLUFF AHEAD
> 
>  
> 
> Elynea and Vilkas return from their mission, and are met with their first night alone in Jorrvaskr

“Vilkas!” I watched as Farkas wrapped his brother in a hug, throwing his arms around him unabashedly. I stood back, watching as the two brothers embraced, smiling to myself. I knew that if Vilkas moved too much his armor was going to shift and the purple blossom of a hickey was going to show, ruining the five minutes we had used standing outside and angling his tunic just right to cover it.  
“We’ll catch up once I’ve bathed.” Vilkas stepped away, his fingers reaching behind him and searching for mine. Farkas raised an eyebrow at me and I smiled, unable to contain it any longer. Vilkas was mine and everyone was going to know it.  
“Well hello. Vilkas, introduce me to your _girlfriend_.” He smirked, knowing how easy it was to make his brother uncomfortable. I watched as Vilkas’s face turned a deep shade of red, his free hand raising to rub the back of his neck.  
“Farkas-”  
“Vilkas, you’re being rude.” Farkas tried to keep a straight face but grinned through it, clearly loving Vilkas’s reaction.  
“We haven’t actually-”  
“ _Vilkas._ ”  
“Ysgramor’s beard Farkas, yes we are together are you happy now?” Vilkas stomped past Farkas, tugging on my arm. I laughed to myself and waved at Farkas, following an angry Vilkas as he stormed down the stairs.  
I knew that he wasn’t really angry as soon as we reached his room, his muscles relaxing as soon as he saw the steaming bath in the center of the room. I knew how much he hated the layers of sweat and grime that layered his skin, I’d seen it as soon as he wrinkled his nose at his own armor.  
Unbuckling his armor he tossed it onto his bed, groaning quietly as the weight was lifted from his body. I knew that a few blades had reached his skin and was eager for a chance to see how much damage had been done to him and if he was going to need extra attention.  
He sank into the hot water, his eyes closing as his body was obscured by the thick layer of steam floating just above the water. I could see the dirt swirling around already as it raised from his skin, reminding me and my sore back of the nights we spent sleeping on the hard ground.  
“You going to just stare at me all night?” His voice was thick with sarcasm and I noticed that he was looking at me, his mouth barely visible above the water. His smile was so inviting that I couldn’t help myself as I stripped off my leathers, feeling my dirty hair hitting my back.  
I climbed precariously into the tub, narrowly avoiding stepping on his leg in the process. Resting my back against his chest I felt his fingers on my arms, his skin already puckering from the warm water. The tight muscles in my back loosened and I closed my eyes, questions still bombarding my mind about our first night out on the road.  
“Vilkas?” His name was much quieter on my lips than I had intended, but he was so close there was no way he didn’t hear me.  
“Hmm?”  
“I have very strong feelings for you.” I paused, waiting for any interruptions he may have had, but getting none. “And I want you to know that you never have to be afraid of me thinking of Farkas as anything other than a friend. I know that you thought about it before, but you shouldn’t.”  
There was no noise for a while other than the quiet tapping of the water as it moved against the edge of the tub. His breathing stayed even under my touch and I leaned back, letting my head fall onto his shoulder. I knew then just as I had through our time alone that he was special to me, and that I needed to hold onto him through both of our insecurities and issues.  
“Good.” He mumbled the word as if he was fighting sleep, his eyes staying closed. He pressed a quick kiss to my forehead and I smiled, feeling more at ease than I had in the days since our first night.  
His confession had been startling, but it wasn’t altogether unexpected. I knew that Farkas was supposed to be the more handsome and charming of the two brothers, and that it had worked on many women before, and I wanted to make it clear to Vilkas that he had stolen my heart. I rested my feet on top of his, gently scrubbing at the immense amount of dirt I knew resided there, wanting to get rid of it as thoroughly as possible.  
I felt his arm wrap around my shoulders, holding my body against his as he drifted between wakefulness and sleep. His fingers were cool and I could see the dirt under his nails, wondering how much persuasion it would take for him to clean that up as well.  
As carefully as I could I ran the small rag over his skin, pushing off as much dirt and dried sweat as possible. I took his silence as an allowance and continued, not wanting to deal with him being dirty anymore, and knowing how badly he hurt after the hits that he took from the bandits.  
A look around his room showed me what I already knew - the man had a love for books. There was a few piled up on each table and shelf, one even resting open on his pillow. Pressing a kiss to the back of his hand I heard a grumble from behind me, his mouth pinched shut.  
“What’s the matter?” I turned to look at him, passing a hand carefully over a deep cut in his forearm. The skin around it was warm, though I couldn’t tell if it was from infection or the warm bath around us.  
“Water’s cold.” He muttered, tugging his arm out of my reach. I wanted to explore more, to make sure he hadn’t been fatally wounded, but his eyes opened and he looked less than pleased.  
Standing up, I felt a rush of cold air before I was able to wrap a towel around my body. I felt his eyes on me and he smirked, making me blush as I hurried to wipe the water off of my skin.  
That night was much calmer than the ones we had previously, and it felt amazing to not be sitting on the harsh ground of the Skyrim wilderness. I’d forgotten how cold it could get during the night, even with Vilkas’s almost unnatural heat radiating out next to me. The firelight was dancing around the room and the mug of ale was cool in my hands as I sat on the edge of his bed, my elbow knocking against his.  
“So,” he started, and I could already tell from the tone of his voice that it was something serious on his mind. “I need to ask you something.”  
“Yes?” Looking over at him I saw an almost pained expression on his face, making my stomach twist into knots.  
“We haven’t talked about something that we probably should have before you agreed to be with me.” He paused as if I should have known what he was talking about, but I was drawing a blank. “Mainly, what you know about Farkas and I.”  
Nodding, I wanted to smack myself at my own stupidity. Of course he wanted to talk about his lycanthropy, it was the biggest part of his life and I hadn’t mentioned it once.  
“What about it?” I asked, tapping my foot anxiously on the ground as he took his time before answering.  
“Well, I don’t want to put you in any danger.” I smiled to myself, tempted to bring up the combat we had been in just the day before, but staying silent. “And I know that it must change how you see me-”  
“No it doesn’t.” I interrupted him, shocking him into silence. “I’ve known about you for weeks, just as long as I’ve known about Farkas, but I still talk to both of you same as before. Even better than before with you.” I leaned in closer to him, wanting to prove my point as much as possible and fight through his insecurities. “I’m okay with it.”  
He looked as if he was a puppy waiting to be kicked, like no one had ever accepted him so completely in his life. I wasn’t lying, I knew what he was and what he was capable of, I’d seen Farkas’s abilities first hand, but when I thought of Vilkas, I thought of the brooding man who had opened up so beautifully to me. I didn’t think of the claws and the fur, I thought of the dark hair and eyes that had caught my attention from the first moment and the rare laugh that was the perfect sound whenever I heard it. I didn’t think of anything other than the same man that was sitting in front of me at that moment with a soft smile on his face leaning back against a pillow on his comfortable bed.  
I watched as he yawned, hating the fact that it was time for us to part. I had spent nights sleeping next to him and despite the rock hard ground, it felt worth it to get to sleep next to him all night. The thought of my small bed down the hall was devastatingly lonely, especially when I saw the adorable way he tucked his head into his pillow and closed his eyes. He looked so sweet, so unlike the man who just the night before had made me moan so loud I was afraid of attracting a wild animal.  
“Goodnight.” I brushed his hair away from his forehead, placing a kiss there before I stood to take my leave. His eyes shot open and he grabbed my wrist as I placed my mug down on the table.  
“You’re leaving?” His voice was gentle and he sat up, fingers staying wrapped around my wrist. My heart lightened at the thought of getting to stay with him, glad that I wasn’t going to be sleeping alone.  
“I thought you’d want me to.” I sat down next to him, pressing my face into his shoulder until I was completely swallowed by his warmth. He felt so good, and smelled much better than the last night we had spent outside on our journey back.  
“No.”  
I fell into his bed, consumed by the feeling of his arms around me and his lips on my forehead, knowing that I never wanted to sleep alone again. He smiled sleepily on the pillow next to me and it was the most heartwarming sight I’d been graced with yet. My heart swelled, just seeing him there, his hair messier than I’d seen it, his face free from any worry, his limbs resting over mine.  
“You don’t think I’m scary?” He mumbled, causing me to laugh at the thought.  
“Right now, you’re the least scary person I could imagine.” He turned his face into the pillow, tightening his grip around me. “You’re cute.”  
“I’m scary.” He muttered, his voice showing the smile he was trying to hide.  
“You’re not scary.”  
“I’m a creature of the night.”  
“How dramatic.”  
Even though we were quiet, it felt like both of us were more comfortable around each other than we had been since our first night alone. I knew that it took a lot of courage for him to open up to me, but it was going to take even more courage for us to work through them together, but we could do it, he was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the few that gave me prompts, but I will always be accepting more! It doesn't need to be Skyrim related, I mostly just need some ideas for pairings or prompts. Thank you all!


	12. Farkas's POV - FIN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Farkas is afraid of being left alone because his brother's in love  
> I don't claim to own Skyrim, the Companions, Jorrvaskr, Vilkas, Farkas, or anything else other than my original character, all credit goes to Bethesda(:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAD TO COME BACK AND FINISHED I MISSED YOU ALL SO MUCH

"I'm never going to get used to this."  
Aela's voice was soft as she sat down next to me, only drawing a fraction of my attention. On the other side of the table sat Vilkas and Elynea, his eyes carefully taking in each of her movements as if she was all he could see. I felt one of my brows raise in response to her, wondering to what degree I could share about my inner thoughts and how much ridicule it could earn me.  
"It's good," I kept my voice low, not wanting either of them to overhear me. "Vilkas needed someone and she's the perfect one to fill that void."  
I watched as she leaned against his side, her hair falling over her shoulder as he placed a kiss on her mouth. He didn't try to hide his affections like he had with the last girl he'd been interested in, he openly and unabashedly showed everyone how much he wanted to touch her. My heart was aching within my chest as I realized how far away from me they were both already becoming, feeling selfish for thinking about it but also hating the fact that I was simultaneously losing both of my closest friends.  
"You made the right decision, you know, not trying to go after her." Aela's arm bumped against mine and I shrugged, unable to make myself look away from them. He chuckled at something she said and I watched his arm drape around her shoulders, looking so natural together as if he'd never let his attraction be expressed as distaste.  
"There wasn't really a decision to make. I could see how much he wanted her, and didn't want to mess up my friendship just to sleep with her." I glanced over at Aela, wishing there was a way for me to voice my pain without sounding pathetic. "Plus, it's not like there's no one else who wants my attention."  
"Cocky bastard." She laughed, shaking her head at my sense of confidence. I knew that I was good with women, I knew how to make both of us feel like we were in love and I knew that there was always new girls who I could fool myself into loving for a few weeks. What I was missing wasn't affection, though, simply my friends.  
"Looks like she made the right choice, though." I mused aloud, smiling to myself as she yawned and rested her head on Vilkas's shoulder as he continued to listen to Kodlak's droning story from over her head.  
"Yeah, risky since Vilkas isn't exactly known for being nice to whelps like you are." Aela paused and I could feel her eyes examining me, likely trying to gauge what was wrong with me. "Well, at least you're nice to them for a few weeks until you get what you want."  
I had no response to that, my mind stuck on the sight in front of me. My heart hurt from the mixture of emotions, overwhelmingly happy for the peace that I found on my brother's usually sour face, but a thorn of selfishness stuck within me. I knew that the closer they got to one another the farther they were going to pull away from me. Although it has been odd at first I'd learned to get over the act of having a simple friendship with a woman, free from ulterior motives or attraction, at I'd had a lifetime to grow close to Vilkas.  
"Farkas!"  
Vilkas's voice pulled me from my thoughts, instantly dragging me back into reality. I saw him smiling and beckoning for me to come closer. My heart leapt and I almost knocked Aela out of her seat in my hurry, desperate for any chance to hold onto my relationship with my brother.  
"Brother." He clapped me on the back as if it'd been years since we'd seen one another, but I wasn't about to push him away.  
"Brother." I returned, wrapping him into a hug I knew was too tight. He wasn't a fan of me touching him, especially once we became official Companions, but I wasn't going to let him go while I still had him in my grasp.  
"We were going to have a drink, you interested?" Elynea's voice was soft as she asked, her arms easily wrapping around Vilkas once again as I let him go. I wasn't sure how to react at first, as I'd thought that they were going to simply disappear from my life. I knew that my mouth was open but no words were coming out, marveling for a moment about the fact that they might not just forget about me.  
"Yes," I forced the word out, watching the easy smile spread across my brother's face, one that I'd seen pinched shut with anger for most of our lives. It was strange to see, but it was so special that I couldn't even mock him for the way he was whispering something in her ear right in front of me. I knew that whenever he saw me with women he rolled his eyes and had some sarcastic remark up his sleeve, but he also knew that most of my time with women wasn't meant to last forever as his was.  
Ever as I felt a mug of ale pushed into my hand, my brain felt like it was trying to work around a knot it just couldn't figure out. Even though I knew they were both going to leave me eventually, it didn't feel like it quite yet. It still felt like she was my friend who was just waiting to listen to all of my stories, her eyes watching me with the same fascination and obvious attention despite the fact that I knew my brother's hand was resting on her thigh. She still laughed at the same parts I'd heard her laugh at three times before, still matching me drink for drink as the night wore on.  
"You sure you're alright tonight?" Her voice was softer than before, as the wee hours of the morning and ale had left us rather boisterous. Her fingers were running through Vilkas's hair as he slept uneasily on her shoulder, his snores amplified by the alcohol.  
"Yes, why wouldn't I be?"  
"You just seem stuck in your own mind."  
I shrugged, but I was still trying to figure out when it was all going to change. If that was the last night I was going to get with my normal friends. It still didn't feel quite normal, Vilkas snoring on her shoulder instead of bemoaning his inabilities with women, her hands resting easily on his body instead of the usual way they fluttered when she carefully asked me questions about him while trying to seem disinterested. They were both still with me, though. She was still my friend, the first that I'd made in a long time and I wasn't ready to give it up.  
"We're not going to leave you behind, you know." She leaned closer to me, allowing Vilkas to rest entirely on her side and weigh her down. She smiled gently and it made the knot in my mind loosen some. I knew that she wanted to mean it, but as an adult I'd made friends before, watched them get married and move on with their lives. Married couples only want to spend time with their partners or other married couples, and I'd long known that I wouldn't be able to provide that for them. I appreciated my freedom too much to restrain myself to one person, and had recognized long ago that once Vilkas was married I'd be on my own for the first time.  
"Yeah," I agreed half heartedly, not wishing to start an argument with her while my brother was balanced so precariously between her arm and the back of her chair.  
"I'm not sure what kind of future Vilkas and I have," her face flushed with uncertainty and I wanted to laugh at her. She could have whatever kind of future she wanted with him, he would have let her break his heart into a million pieces if she wanted. "But I know that you're his brother and he's not going to give you up. Plus, you're my closest friend."  
She looked at me just like she had on that first day, like she already knew something about me that I didn't even know myself. She looked at me like she could actually physically see what was happening inside of my mind, like we'd been friends for our whole lives.  
"You're my best friend too." I felt her elbow knock against mine and she carefully rested Vilkas's bulk on the table in front of us, his brows furrowing unhappily. It was such a familiar look that I couldn't help the laugh that rumbled up through my chest, especially when her fingers pulled his taunt mouth into a bad mockery of a smile.  
I'll always remember that night that we spent awake, drinking snd laughing as we positioned Vilkas into a variety of compromising situations. It was the night she laughed so hard that she fell out of her chair and promptly threatened my life if I ever told Vilkas. It was the night that we matched one another drink for drink until I couldn't tell which of the moving tables in front of me was the real one and even at that level of drunkenness I still didn't feel attracted to her. It was the night that I fell asleep to the sight of them passed out in the middle of the training yard and none of us could remember how we got out there.  
The next morning I watched as he wrapped his arms around her, my hands already pressed over my ears to block out the inevitable complaining. I figured that we'd be in trouble for drinking too much or for not getting him to bed, but he just laughed. He laughed and kissed her and even though I felt weird, it warmed my heart to see. He looked so happy that morning despite the fact that we'd all slept outside on the ground all night and had killer hangovers, and I couldn't believe it.  
"Farkas, you coming to breakfast?" His voice was raspy as he asked me, his hands pulling Elynea up into something resembling a standing position though I could see he was holding most of her weight. Her hair stuck out at odd angles and I could see him trying to sneakily fix it before she could see, her hands correcting to way his leathers had twisted around his body. It was so easy and domestic it was hard to believe that they'd only been together for a few weeks.  
I stood up, ignoring the pounding in my head and the aching in my lower back. His hand clapped on my shoulder and it was impossible to hide the grin on my face. I was starting to believe that they weren't going to leave me behind just because they'd found one another, and I think that was all I needed. I didn't need to find a woman to love me as Elynea loved Vilkas, because my friends were all the companionship I needed.  
"If there's ever a woman who can keep up with you, hold onto her." Elynea joked as we entered Jorrvaskr, her eyes knowing as she glanced up at me.  
"Oh you're lucky you're not the one who was interested in me." I wondered how far I could joke around Vilkas; his mood may have improved, but he hadn't become an entirely different person. "You made the right decision when you chose which of us you wanted."  
"I really did." She planted herself down in a chair, her eyes wide with adoration as she pushed his hair away from his face. As I watched them yet again I knew that there was no decision making in the matter. She hadn't chosen to fall for Vilkas instead of me, she hasn't decided to be the one to steal his heart and keep him from pouting all the time, just as he hadn't decided to fall for her, it was simply meant to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After writing this I've been sucked back into the act of writing, prompts/pairings/ideas are always welcome in comments because I missed all of you and couldn't leave this unfinished any longer!!

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't yet decided which brother the relationship is going to be centered around, please leave comments if you have an opinion either way, thank you so much!


End file.
